


Happy to go on the Journey With You

by weirdwriterperson



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bi, Coming Out, Gay, Gender, Genderqueer Character, Hurt/Comfort, Lydia is kinda problematic but not really, Other, Questioning, but kinda, ok she got more problematic sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-01-04 06:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12163365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdwriterperson/pseuds/weirdwriterperson
Summary: Jackson and Lydia are fighting again? Whats nothing new.Jackson doesn't want to talk about it? Now that's confusing.Or: Jackson questions sexuality and gender while Danny is along for the ride.





	1. Happy to go on the Journey With You

“All right puppies, that’s enough. Get your butts to the living room for movie night. It is, I am sorry everyone, Lydia’s night to choose the movie. One guess what she picked.” Stiles laughed at his own joke, “Oh! And don’t forget the barbecue, you have to bring whatever you were assigned or it won’t be perfect!”

Jackson glanced at Lydia. She was laughing with everyone and resolutely not meeting his eye.

That was fine. He could act like everything was fine.

“Hey!” Derek called from the doorway, arm slung over Stiles’ shoulder, “Move.”

Everyone followed the order as Stiles blushed under his boyfriend’s arm.

Everyone pilled in to their normal spots. Derek and stiles in the center of the couch with Scott on Stiles’ side and Danny on the other. Erika and Boyd took the bean bag chairs Stiles had insisted on. Isaac and Allison sat in one loveseat while Lydia and Jackson took the other.

Wait.

Shit.

Jackson looked at Lydia to find her already in the chair. She had managed to take up most of the space, despite it being thrice her size.

Which was cool. He just had to be casual. So, with all the casualness he could pull together, he stole a pillow Isaac was holding, ignoring the boy’s protests, and sat on the floor by Danny’s legs.

He kept his eyes on the screen and refused to see if anyone was sending him any looks.

\--

Jackson skipped his monthly manicure appointment.

\--

When Danny had invited him to study on a Friday night, he had assumed there would be a lot more breaks. Breaks that led to them to going out and having some fun.

Studying on a Friday night was, in no way, fun.

“Come on, Jackson. If you aren’t going to be helpful, I will go over to Lydia’s.”

Jackson laughed, “You wouldn’t.”

Danny stretched out on the bed, pushing the text book he had discarded a while ago dangerously close to the edge of the bed.

“Why?” Danny sat up, twisting to see Jackson in the chair, “because you guys are in another fight? You won’t even tell me what it’s about.”

Jackson scowled. This was _so_ not about Lydia.

“Whatever, keep studying. The Jungle was on the schedule for tonight anyway.” Jackson snatched up the textbook mid fall. He opened it to a random page and willed his eyes to focus on the writing.

The writing that had nothing to do with any of his classes.

Well.

Too late now?

-

Danny looked at him for a minute, slightly worried. By now he should be knee deep in Jackson’s whiney bullshit about what was going on between the couple, but he hadn’t heard anything. Jackson had been avoiding the topic even, doing whatever possible to change the subject.

When Danny had first asked, the subject had turned around onto Danny’s dating life somehow.

The stupid were-wolf hated hearing about Danny’s love life!

It was only a matter of time before he started bitching though so he wasn’t too worried.

“So? Why do you care?” Danny flicked a chip at him, trying to get his attention back, “Going to miss all the guys hitting on you? Need more strokes to your ego?”

It was all said in jest, the laughter heavy in his voice, but if anything, Jackson just sunk lower in the seat.

Now, reading Jackson was a fine art, one that Danny could proudly say he was better at than anyone else in the world.

Danny has no idea what was going on in his friend’s mind at this moment.

“Fine, let’s go. I know all this shit anyway.”

\--

It takes a week of nothing for Danny to go to drastic measures.

“So, are you going to tell me what is up with you and Jackson? I’m going to be honest, Lydia. I’m starting to get a little worried here.”

Lydia stopped cold, turning to face him, “why? What exactly has he told you?”

That was not what he was expecting.

“Why?” he threw the question back, “is there something you’re worried about him telling me?”

The red head’s stance shifted suddenly. Shoulders drooping slightly and the threat gone.

She sighed, almost disappointedly, and started to walk again, “talk to him, Danny. But whatever he says, I hope you see what I meant and talk him down from this little temper tantrum. It’s getting boring.”

Cryptic.

Dragging his hands across his face, Danny groaned. With the way she was acting, she had a chance as the next Deaton, “What does that even mean? He won’t tell me anything Lydia!”

“Not my problem.” Her heels clicked away.

Jackson was going to kill him.

\--

“Please Danny, a party with those losers? Pass. Why don’t we just go to the jungle and find you a nice guy for once. Seriously, you are done with losers. Or just stay in. Play some video games.” And if those happened to be places Lydia would not attend, would Danny notice?

Yes.

“Jackson!” Danny’s voice was heavy, if it weren’t for fear of werewolf retaliation he might have chucked something at his head. “Come on man, talk to me. What the fuck is up?”

Jackson’s head snapped around, looking for listening ears.

“Jax, we stayed longer than anyone, always have, no one is here!” he placed a hand on his shoulder only to have it smacked away.

If he stuck his head through the bench, would Jackson notice?

“Hey! Ever since McLoser went wolf everyone is here at all hours of the night.” Jackson put on his shirt, his ears still perked. “Does it mean anything if I don’t want to talk?”

Danny sat up from the bench, “No.”

“Does it mean anything if I say I know you don’t want to talk about it?”

“Bullshit, no.”

“What if I said I would tell you later?”

“No.”

Jackson grabbed his bag and sneered, “Guess I’ll never tell you then!”

Danny grabbed his arm, “What? Why?”

“Danny,” Jackson glared at the hand holding him, and Danny suddenly remembered that it probably was a dumb move. “I’m not ready to tell you yet and after _everything_ I am done doing things I don’t want to do. If you don’t want to hear it later, well, I don’t know what to tell you.”

A breathless moment passed, Danny trying not to pull him in and instead letting him go. “Sorry. Tell me when you want to, when you can. You just… you’ve been worrying me.”

Jackson shrugged. Tossing his bag over his shoulder, he laughed, “Let’s skip the shower and stink up that ice cream place you like!”

Most of the smiles were forces, but it wasn’t a bad night.

\--

Jackson tried to fix his car when it started acting up.

He ended up braking it more.

\--

A month passed and Jackson started to act normal, whatever that was for him.

Somehow that was more worrying. Before, when Jackson was off, Danny could see him debating telling him about what ever had happened. Now though, now Jackson acted like there was nothing there. No secret just below the surface that was bothering him.

That Danny could help him with.

There was the possibility that he was over it. That though would not explain why he had never told Danny what it was that upset him so much. Unless he was embarrassed and knowing Jackson that was perfectly likely.

There was also the possibility that Jackson had pushed everything down and had decided to ignore the problem.

The latter was, unfortunately, more likely.

It didn’t help that Danny kept replaying his words.

_“I know you don’t want to talk about it.”_

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

\--

“Derek! Derek, I think you’ve pushed the puppies enough for today,” Stiles says from the ground, struggling to breath.

Everyone else, still standing fine, shared a smirk.

Scott dragged his friend to his feet. “No dude! Don’t worry about us, let’s keep going! You’re fine, right?”

“Oh, oh yeah, totally.” He promptly fell face first onto a rock.

“Shit!” Scott dropped to the ground, “sorry dude, sorry! Oh, my god! Are you ok? Dude?”

“Scott.”

“-the worst best friend ever-“

“Scott.”

“I swear I am SO sorry!”

Derek grabbed his shoulder, “Scott, stop. Jackson, take him back to the house.”

The ex-kanima gapped at him, “why do I have to take your boyfriend back?”

“Scott needs to runs this off,” he pushed him into a tree, “besides, you’ve been distracted. Get your head out of the clouds _before_ you get one of us killed or so help me-“

“Hey!” Stiles slurred from the ground, “what did we say about threatening the puppies.”

Jackson scoffed, “don’t call me a puppy.”

Derek shoved him away, “just take him back to the house, _puppy._ ”

At Isaac and Erika’s smirks he punched Isaac. The kid was higher on the annoying scale for the week. “Whatever. Let’s go Stillinski.”

~

Back at the house Danny and Lydia had just arrived to help prepare for a pack night.

“What happened?” Danny asked, loosely holding a bowl full of chips.

Lydia turned around for a quick look before sneering and going back to arranging the living room, “He really is a klutz.”

“Well,” Jackson set him on the couch where he groaned, “we did help a few times, if I’m being honest.”

“That’s a first.”

Danny looked at Lydia, wondering if she meant it to be heard by him. It hadn’t been quiet, but it hadn’t been loud either.

“Hey Jax,” the werewolf turned to him slowly, “want to help me find where Stiles is hiding the first aid kit?”

He shrugged.

Once away from prying banshee ears Danny closed the door.

“Um, Danny? Any particular reason for closing the bathroom door?” Jackson raised his eyebrow at him.

He was confused, but not worried. He trusted him. The fact that Danny could read that from the single movement of an eyebrow was honestly worrying. Maybe he spent too much time trying to figure out how to read Jackson?

“Danny?”

Jackson was in front of his face. Worried now.

“Sorry, spaced. Um,” he looked at his hands, “I was wondering what you meant by the whole ‘I know you don’t want to talk about it’ thing. Because I thought I made it clear that I do.”

Jackson sighed and backed up to sit on the tub, “this again? I thought we were done with this.”

“Hey, I get it ok. Your time.” he held up his hands in surrender, “I just wanted to make sure you knew I really do want to know. That I’m here for you. You can trust me, and stuff.”

“And stuff?”

Danny straightened up, sighing, “Just tell me you know I am here to listen.”

“Danny,” Jackson sighed.

“No. Tell me.” He had to be sure he knew.

Jackson stood up, hands in his pockets, slightly hunched, “look, I just meant that I know that there are certain parts of this that you don’t want to talk about, but I promise to talk to you when I get to the part you’ll want to hear about.”

“That,” Danny, grabbed his shoulder, turning the wolf to look at him, “is stupid. Talk to me about any part. Every part. God Jackson, I still have no idea what we are talking about, but I want to talk about it. Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

Jackson’s face turned into a scowl, “you say you hate talking about things a lot!”

“Like what?”

“Like periods or being gay!”

“Do you have a period Jackson?”

“No!”

“So?”

Jackson tried to push past him, but Danny grabbed him again, “Jackson, come on. Ok so maybe yes, there are a lot of topics that I have said I hate, but none of them included my best friend. If you want to talk about your werewolf moon period, let’s go. If you want to talk about Lydia’s period, well she will kill us, but let’s go. If it turns out wolfs get weird STDs, let’s go!”

“Danny no, just no.” a few seconds passed till he made eye contact, “what about the other thing?”

Danny sighed, “Jackson, we both complain a lot. You are going to have to remind me what else.”

Eyebrows together, lips pinched, and nose flared: Jackson was angry and not trying to hide it.

“Sorry! Come on I’m trying here! Trust me a little bit!” Danny tried to breathe, to think if he might have already told him in Jackson, “we can talk about periods, we can talk about STDs”

Jackson shoved him a little, “why are you so hung up on the stupid period thing?”

Danny shrugged, “you brought it up, didn’t know if it was supposed to mean something.”

“That was not the only thing I brought up Danny.” He was pouting now and Danny didn’t know what that meant.

Danny shook his head, “the only other thing you brought up was me not liking people using me as their gay sounding board.”

Jackson flashed his eyes, growling, “So me having a fucking period is more likely than me being gay?”

“What?”

Jackson’s head tilted.

“Jackson-“

“Shut up,” Jackson grabbed the first aid kit and pushed passed him, “they’re in hearing distance.”

~

Jackson wouldn’t go anywhere near Danny for the rest of the night, instead he stayed pouting by Lydia’s side.

\--

Jackson looked in the mirror and scowled.

Jackson stayed an extra three hours after practice ended that day.

\--

“Ok, so why is he mad at you now?”

Danny closed his locker, looking around for potential listeners, “are you sure this is the best place for this?”

Lydia tutted, “no one was listening before you started acting weird. Come on.”

“Where are we,” Lydia dragged him into a classroom, “going?”

“No one uses this room, so talk quiet and tell me everything so I can fix it,” she whispered, throwing down her bag.

Danny set down his bag before falling into a seat while Lydia stayed standing, “I don’t know Lydia. He didn’t tell me much, but I don’t want to tell you something that he doesn’t want me to.”

“Fine,” she picked up her bag, “I get it, I guess. I won’t tell you what I know, you won’t tell me what you know. No progress. Just don’t let him wallow. The more he wallows, the worse it gets.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Danny stood.

Lydia sighed and gave him a look, “then why haven’t you fixed it yet?”

~

Through lunch Danny wanted to stay mad at her, tell her to either give some helpful information or shut up.

But she was right.

He knew time could only make things worse, but he still hadn’t really figured out just how to make it better yet. He had kind of fucked up and sorry wasn’t going to cut it.

He looked across the table at Jackson, not talking to anyone, as usual, but looking more distant and realized sorry would have to be a start.

\--

Jackson was the first one in the locker room and tried to take a moment to enjoy the silence. Key word being tried.

Scott sat heavily on the bench next to him, “what is up dude? You’ve been weird all week.”

“Sorry.”

“Seriously?” Scoot gave him his puppy look, “you don’t just apologies dude! Come on, we are a family, pack! Everyone is worried here. You can talk to any of us.”

Jackson just sighed.

“Come on,” Scott put his hand on the back of the other’s neck, “trust your instincts. We are pack, you can tell me. You can trust me.”

Staring wide eyed at the floor Jackson felt it.

Felt the pack bond that had been building slowly since he finally joined the pack.

Felt the need to be comforted by his pack.

And knew he could.

He could easily fall into the arms of his alpha, take all the comfort he was willing to give, and tell him everything so the shorter boy could fix everything.

But he also felt the need to fight it.

“I don’t trust easy McCall.”

Then he was in a hug, a stupid, pack smelling, alpha in his face hug, “you were getting there though. Right up until Friday me and Derek, I mean, Derek and I, well, we thought you were close.”

“Well, being two dumb co-alphas doesn’t help,” even as he said the words he brought up his arms to take the comfort from his alpha. “People are going to come in here any moment.”

Scott laughed, “Want to let go?”

Honestly, it was more of an awkward side hug trying to be a real hug that was not very comfortable. But he didn’t want to let go. He dropped his arms, but not before stealing an extra squeeze.

“We can talk after practice.”

Jackson had just opened his locker when he felt a hand on his arm and turned to see Danny, looking shy, “Hey, can we talk?”

Jackson looked at the rest of the team, who was all filing in, to see Scott giving the pair an odd look.

“We have to make it quick.” He pulled him into the hall, “keep in mind there are ears listening.”

Danny nodded, “I just wanted to say that I am so sorry. I jumped to conclusions, but just know that I am here for you to talk to. When you want.”

He would forever blame Scott McLoser for his following action.

Jackson shoved his face into Danny’s chest, wrapped his arms around him, and breathed deep. “I missed you.”

“Yeah,” Danny whispered, unmoving, “I missed you to.”

~

“So,” Scott whispered low, “Everything better then?”

Jackson looked across the field at Danny, and wondered if he should take the out.

“Jackson?” Scott was looking at him now.

Sighing, Jackson resigned his fate, “almost. When is the next pack night again?”

“Not for another week or so,” his face brightened, “but I’m sure everyone would come if we asked. Talk to Derek.”

“Please, I would sooner talk to his little boyfriend who has him wrapped around their little finger. Besides, I’ll pass, no need to cause fear of the next attack. It can wait.” Jackson could wait too.

“McCall! Whitmore!” Couch screamed, “Stop the tea party and get in the game!”

\--

“Really?”

Danny’s room was covered with junk food. Bags of chips on the bed, containers of cookies on his desk, and various sweat candies by the TV.

“There is also ice cream in the fridge.” Danny was beaming at him.

Jackson laughed, “isn’t this breakup stuff?”

“It’s comfort stuff.” Danny said seriously, opening a bag of chips, “Help you talk about your feelings stuff.”

Taking a chip, Jackson nodded. Because right. That’s why he was here right now. To talk about his _feelings_.

Which he could do just fine.

No matter what Lydia said.

“Hey,” Jackson looked up to see Danny sitting on the bed.

Moving some of the bags Jackson joined the human, carefully not touching him.

“So. What were you thinking?”

It was pure convenience that chips were currently in the blonde’s mouth.

“Or we could start with what that fight with Lydia was about.” Danny nudged him with his shoulder, letting it stay afterwards, “Because honestly Jackson, I’m kinda worried it had to do with you being gay. I don’t care she is a girl Jackson, give me the word and I’ll kick her ass.”

Jackson laughed. “She would beat you.”

“So? I _do_ need to fight?”

“No.” Jackson sighed, leaning forward and away from his friend. “She didn’t have a problem with it. She brought it up actually. Asked if I wanted to have a threesome and then proceeded to explain to me how I was into guys.”

“That,” Danny sat forward with him, “is really shitty.”

Jackson shook his head. “Apparently, she had thought I was bi a long time ago. She started talking the logistics of a threesome and mentioned we’d both enjoy a guy. She thought I knew I was bi.”

“Still seems shady, but I’ll let it go. For now,” Danny grabbed the red vines from beside him, what he knew was Jackson’s favorite candy. “So, are you? Bi, I mean?”

Jackson shrugged, attempting to push away some of the tension he was holding. “Maybe?”

“Maybe because you think you might be or maybe because Lydia made a good argument?”

Jackson took one of the red vines, spinning it in his hand. “Both? I don’t know. At first I thought she was wrong, but then she started talking and I started thinking. I mean, she listed times she had caught me checking out guys! Which I didn’t think I did, but I do! A lot!”

“Ok.”

“Ok?” Jackson stood. “Danny, I might like guys _more!”_

Jackson practically shouted the last word.

“Ok.” Danny stayed laying down, looking relaxed. “Jackson, that is ok.”

~

“Stop hogging the mint!”

“Well share the chocolate cookies!”

~

“Are you going to tell the pack?”

“Do I have to?”

“No.”

~

“Hey Danny?” Jackson turned toward the boy, who was currently being pulled away by sleep.

“Yeah?”

Jackson thought about saying never mind, but he wasn’t like Stiles. He didn’t let his fear dictate his actions.

Much.

“Do you think I look manly?”

Danny squinted at him, “Jax. You look like the perfect All American Boy TM.”

Jackson stared at the ceiling, “oh.”

Sitting up, Danny sighed, “Jackson. Does me being gay make me seem less manly to you.”

Jackson shook his head.

“Then why would you being bi change anything?”

When Jackson didn’t answer, Danny took it as a victory and laid back down to sleep.

\--

Jackson didn’t shave and went on a long run the next day.

\--

“Shit.”

“What?”

“Scott still wants to know what’s wrong. He is expecting me to tell everyone at pack night.”

“I thought you didn’t want to tell them yet?”

“I don’t!”

“Then don’t.”

\--

“So are you and Lydia just not dating now? Did you being bi change that much?

“I don’t know. We were in a fight and we just kind of, never made up?” Jackson shrugged.

Danny shook his head, “But you have made up. You’re just not fucking.”

Jackson scowled, “Whatever.”

Before Danny could say more, the werewolf was gone.

\--

The idea of being the All American Boy TM stayed in Jackson’s head.

He strayed away from his lighter colored clothing.

\--

“So! Pack meeting tomorrow! Scotty told me I might need to schedule you time to say something?” the shorter boy smiled up at him.

Jackson tugged his bag onto his shoulder, “oh yeah. Never mind that. It’s not important.”

Jackson turned away, but not before a small hand covered his wrist. “Jackson. Everyone noticed that you weren’t ok. Everyone _cares_ so much. We can also see you’re happier now, so if you really just don’t want to talk about it, fine. But if you’re just bottling things up like you did with all that kanima shit then that’s dumb.”

Jackson scowled and pulled back his hand, “why won’t any of you just accept it when I say I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jackson slammed his hand near the wall, Stiles didn’t move. “You know; it shouldn’t hurt your male ego to talk about your feelings.”

Jackson turned to stomp away, “don’t put me in the schedule Stillinski.”

\--

When Jackson stayed after practice, continuing working out, no one said anything.

\--

By the time Jackson got home it was nearly three in the morning.

“Danny?” the hacker was lying on his bed, fast asleep. Jackson threw his bag onto him. “Danny what the fuck are you doing here.”

“Shit!” Danny looked at the clock, rubbing his eye, “Thought you might want to talk after getting out whatever was making you angry.”

Jackson sat in the chair at his desk and gawked at him. “This Danny! Why do you people insist on talking?”

“Jackson-“

“And yes I know it ‘doesn’t make me less manly.’ How could anything? I am the co-captain of the lacrosse team, on again off again with the hottest girl in school, every guy wishes they had my body! The perfect man!” Jackson was standing, his whole body shaking. “I am a man.”

“Jackson-“

“Get out.” Jackson turned to his desk. Away from Danny.

“Jack-“

“Get out!” Shards shattered at his feet as Jackson threw down the first thing his hand touched.

Not breathing Danny slowly, careful not to be too loud, moved to stand behind his friend, now turned away from him. He waited a few seconds, making sure the wolf wouldn’t push him away, before enveloping tightly.

They stood in silence for a while, unmoving.

“I am,” Jackson chocked out, “I am a man.”

\--

The morning light was harsh and Jackson wished he had closed the blinds last night.

Jackson wished he could change a lot of things about last night.

_Fuck._

“Stop thinking so much and go back to sleep. Only nine.”

Danny was curled up near the edge of the bed.

“You’re going to make me talk to you about it, aren’t you?”

Danny sighed and rolled over to face him, “I thought we talked about you not doing things you don’t want to do.”

Jackson hmmed quietly. “I don’t not want to tell you.”

“Ok.”

“But I don’t want to tell you either.”

“Ok?”

Jackson sat up, moving the blankets off Danny, “thing is, I don’t really know what to say.”

“Well,” Danny whispered, pulling back the blankets, “you can start with how you feel, if you want.”

Jackson laughed. “Angry.”

“What else did I expect?” they talked quietly, neither making too fast a move, “Angry at what?”

Jackson frowned, “it’s weird.”

Danny sat up, “You are a werewolf. Can’t be that weird.”

“It’s like,” his hands balled up into fists, “Do you ever look in the mirror and think, ‘this is wrong’?”

Danny’s eyebrows scrunched together, “Like Mulan shit? Can’t say I have. Why?”

“Mulan shit,” Jackson repeated, laughing, “yeah, really like that actually.”

Shards of the mug caught Danny’s eye. A lightbulb went off in him.

“Jackson?” Danny asked lightly, resting his hand on his back, “are you transgender?”

Jackson jerked away. His eyes screwed shut. He pulled his legs to his chest.

“I’m not a girl.”

“It’s ok, Jack-“

“I’m not!” Jackson stared him down now, “Stop trying to just know everything about me, Danny! Stop jumping to conclusions!”

Danny stared, tense, afraid of his friend’s backlash. Afraid he was fucking everything up. “Sorry. I’m sorry. This isn’t, I mean, just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I also know what to- I’m sorry Jackson. I’m listening.”

Jackson stared at him for a second before letting some of the tension go. “I’m not a girl. I mean, if someone said I was, not in an insult way, I don’t think I would really be upset. But it’s just like that with being a guy. I’m not mad that people say I’m one, I’m just not. And I feel like I should be mad. Like it would justify this, let me know that I’m really not a guy or a girl. But I’m not mad. I could never tell anyone, just pretend when they used he pronouns it was because they knew I didn’t mind. But that makes me mad. The idea that I’m just pretending. Only kind of fitting my label.

“When I was trying to figure out if I was bi some links lead me to some links. There are a lot of genders. Did you know that?”

Danny shook his head. He’d never been as involved as he should have.

“I kind of got overwhelmed. Ignored everything, including the idea of me being gay.” Jackson looked at his hands, rubbing finger nail marks and mentally noting to cut them later.

“Hey,” Danny began to lightly rub his back. “We’ll figure it out, ok?”

Jackson sighed, nodding, before lying back down to sleep.

\--

Pack night was hell.

Everything was going as normal, except Jackson could feel the tension in the room, could feel them all sneaking glances at him.

He pulled Lydia away while Stillinski set up some cade game, “what the fuck is with everyone?”

“Everyone heard you were thinking about making some announcement, telling them what happened.” She picked small fuzzies from his shirt.

“I’m not,” he sneered.

“Yep,” she flicked her fair, “they heard that too.”

Jackson sighed, of course he was pack gossip, “they aren’t going to let this go.”

“You aren’t going to tell them.” It was more than a question. A challenge.

Because that was the part of the argument that he had left out from his talk with Danny. Lydia thought he was just too much of a coward to come out.

~

**8:06**

**Jackson:** If I dont tell them theyre going to think im a pansy when I do later

**8:06**

**Danny:** Jackson, fuck whatever they think.

**8:19**

**Jackson:** Right

~

“So,” Stiles slowed, “we thought we would add a section to the schedule. Um, if anyone would like to say something now, that they did not schedule in, it would be totally fine. Like anything at all. After this we have movies so it can be as long as we would like. Or short! It could also be short. To the point. A comment we don’t discuss. Just know. Or we could talk. Anything.”

No one was exactly looking at Jackson, but that seemed to just make him feel like they were putting on this great, rehearsed play.

Which they were.

“I got an A today.” Isaac pipped up, definitely stealing a glance towards Jackson.

Stiles smiled, wide and forced, “That’s great! Extra brownie for you!”

Erica had the next line apparently, “I didn’t do so great on that test.”

“That’s is ok too!” Stiles called, “We can talk about good things right now. Or Bad. Whatever someone might be feeling. This is a safe place where we can trust each other! Because that is what pack does. Trusts each other with what is going on in their lives.”

 _Fuck_ , Jackson thought, _if I don’t say something now, they won’t just think I’m a pansy, but will feel like I couldn’t trust them._

“That’s enough.” Derek stood, “we aren’t guilt tripping.” He looked straight at Jackson, “If someone wants to share, they share. If they don’t, they don’t. That’s pack. Trust beyond secrets.”

\--

“I thought you were about to cave. Tell them everything.”

Jackson and Danny were studying again. Danny said that when their grades dipped during the next big bad, it would not have an effect of his overall GPA.

“I was,” Jackson flipped through his notes, “I think that’s why Derek stopped it.”

Danny didn’t look up from his computer, “yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jackson bit his lip, thankful one alpha cared about his privacy, even if the other liked to test it.

They continued to study in silence for a while and Jackson thought that would be how the day would pass.

He was surprised when Danny spoke next, “So I’ve composed a list of possible genders.”

“What?”

“For you. So we can try and figure it out. But from what I’ve read I feel like there is one question I should ask first.”

Jackson stared at his friend, looking almost sheepish as he peered over his computer screen, “What?”

“Um, what pronouns would you like? I have a list for that too if you want.” Danny moved to show the computer to Jackson.

Jackson looked him in the eyes, “what?”

Danny raised an eyebrow, “Isn’t this what we talked about?”

“I mean,” Jackson looked back at the lists, “I was really just planning on staying with guy, you know?”

Danny set his computer on the bed, “Jackson, you said you weren’t. You said you didn’t like the half label.”

Jackson didn’t like the way Danny was looking at him. Like if Danny pressed too hard Jackson would break.

He felt like going for a run.

“I can be a guy.”

Danny sighed, pulled away Jackson’s notebook, and rested his hands on Jackson’s knees. “Jackson. If after we go through this whole process you decide you are a guy, then happy to go on the journey with you. If you decide you’re not and change your mind later, whatever. But I really think this is something you need to do.”

The look in Danny’s eye startled him, he had to look away. “Can I see that list?”

Danny smiled and handed him the laptop.

\--

“So. I might be genderqueer. And I think I like they/them pronouns best. But seriously, Danny, I don’t care if someone uses something else.”

“That is my best friend Jackson. They are prone to not realizing their own importance.”

“… Shut up.”

\--

Jackson started to wear brighter colors again.

\--


	2. Scott Tries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can see that something is wrong with his pack, there is still some disconect. Can Scott figure out how to make it better? Or will he just make things worse?

“Hey,” Scott climbed into the passenger seat, “thanks for driving me.”

Jackson shrugged, “Danny had to meet with his family anyway. Why couldn’t Stiles take you?”

“Wanted to show up early to get everything set up for tonight, he takes his role in organizing pack nights very seriously.” If Jackson had to guess they would say there was a little bit of anger in his voice, but they weren’t going to make him talk about that, “Tonight should be good. Can’t wait to see how you participate without your security blanket.”

Jackson gripped the wheel tight.

“That’s something I would expect Stiles to say, not you.”

Scott turned to look at him, but didn’t say anything.

They made it all the way to Derek’s without making any noise. Before they could get out of the car though, Scott’s hand was on their arm, “How many times am I going to have to remind you that you can trust your pack.”

“I thought you guys were done pushing me to tell you things,” they glared at him, hoping no one in the house was listening in.

Scott shook his head, “I’m not pushing you to tell me anything. Everyone has their secrets, but you still feel like you’re holding yourself five feet away. Derek said trust beyond secrets, but I’m worried you just don’t trust us in general.”

If he wanted them to say something, he didn’t wait around to hear it.

Jackson’s hand was on the keys, debating just leaving. Once again, it felt like they were being called a coward and this time from one of their alphas.

Leaving was a cowards move though.

Texting Danny might help, but would only prove Scott’s point.

“Fuck.”

“You’d have to talk to Lydia about that,” Stiles pulled open their door, “I’m probably the only one in there that doesn’t know what Scott just said to you, but ignore him.”

Looking past him, Jackson saw heads staring at them from inside the house.

_“Scott’s going to be in trouble.”_

_“Yeah, this goes directly against what Derek said.”_

_“He’s listening.”_

_“Shit!”_

“Hey, okay now I don’t know what they just said,” Stiles leaned over them to undo their seat belt, “just come in, ok? I made a blueberry pie and you’re the only one that likes it.”

They wanted to protest, but the thought of causing a bigger scene somehow seemed worse.

Like it could get worse.

They let Stiles lead them until their sitting at the table, ignoring the way everyone refused to meet their eye.

“Alright, everyone has to let me know if they want anything specific for the graduation party. It’s only a month away and we have a lot of schedules to balance to make sure it’s good. Especially if we are inviting everyone’s parents along too. Though if you want to have a separate one with your parents, I guess that makes since. Everyone in the pack has to come to the pack party though, ok?” Stiles started to ramble on as he moved the last few plates to the table, “Just let me know what you want and who all is coming, ok?”

Everyone nodded numbly.

Stiles smacked Scott’s arm and stage whispered, “what _did_ you say to him?”

“I forgot about super hearing!” He whispered back.

“And that’s supposed to make it better?”

Glancing around, Jackson noticed that Alison looked just as awkward as everyone and Lydia was smirking, so they assumed someone had filled them in.

They nearly jumped when they felt a hand on their shoulder, “everyone, sit down and eat.”

If Jackson was clutching their phone in their pocket, Scott could McFuck off.

“Are we still starting with sharing circle?” Isaac asked as he sat down.

“No,” Derek, Scott, and Stiles answered at once.

Between that and Lydia nudging their foot under the table, Jackson was close to just bailing.

If it wasn’t for Derek pilling things onto their plate, they might just have too.

“I doubt my parents will come,” they said still looking at his plate.

“What?” Stiles asked.

Jackson pushed aside the corn Derek had added to make room for a slice of pie, “to the graduation thing. I’ll ask, but they probably won’t come.”

“Why?”

“It’s fine,” Derek glared at him, “We’ll be there.

Jackson didn’t know what to say. They thought that was kinda implied.

Eventually the rest of the awkwardness started to phase out as they continued to finish dinner. If Jackson didn’t have Lydia nudging them every time Scott mouthed sorry at them, they might have been able to forget what happened.

After the dinner was over Jackson tried to push the remote away as Isaac tried to put it in their hand, despite it being his night to choose. “Isaac, just put it on whatever you want!”

“Fine!” he half yelled, “but you can veto, ok?”

“Fuck guys.” They wanted to push him and Erica away as they squished into the chair with them, but figured a cuddle session as they watched a movie was better than being forced to actually talk.

There was a private debate in Jackson’s head about actually using the veto when Isaac put on Mean Girls, but they didn’t want to encourage the Baby-Jackson-Because-He-Is-Fragile thing.

They got half-way though the movie before they felt their phone buzz.

~

**10:48**

**Danny:** Lydia said something was wrong. You good? Should I come?

~

They tried to glare at Lydia, but met everyone’s eyes but hers instead.

“Just tell him to come, it doesn’t matter.” She said, still looking at the television.

Jackson snorted and pocketed the phone, “I’m fine, you’re the one who texted him.”

Going back to trying to watch the movie they pretended to not notice the way that Isaac and Erica tightened their hold around their waist.

Erica moved to whisper into their ear, like everyone still wouldn’t be able to hear, “just text him you’re ok, don’t make him worry.”

They nodded.

~

**10:52**

**Jackson:** im fine. promise. just lyda

**10:52**

**Danny:** What the fuck is her problem? Seriously, just give me the word and I’ll kick her ass

~

Shoving the phone away, they hoped the cuddle twins weren’t reading over their shoulder. Again. Judging by the way Erica turned to look Lydia though, there wasn’t much hope.

Once the movie ended Jackson moved to get up.

“Hey, why don’t we watch another one tonight?” Stiles cut off their movements.

Lydia leaned back again, “The Notebook?”

“I don’t think you should get a vote,” Erica snarled, but at the looks she got she rained it in, “it is still Isaac’s night to choose, right?”

Derek hummed an agreement, but everyone’s eyes kept sliding between Erica and Lydia. “Pick something out, Isaac.”

Eventually he settled on a movie with a lot of explosions. Jackson wasn’t paying much attention, but it didn’t seem like Isaac’s thing. Probably for either their or Erica’s benefit, hopefully the later otherwise it was a waste.

\--

The ride back somehow still managed to be one of the worst parts of the night.

Stiles split fast and Jackson was sure the reason was to force them and Scott back into the same car again.

After they were far enough away from everyone that super hearing wouldn’t be an issue, Scott turned to them, “I swear I wouldn’t have said anything if I was thinking about the way they could hear us.”

“For fucks sake,” Jackson pulled over to the side of the rode, “You want to talk? Fine, fuck you! Yeah, I have trust issues. Sorry I’m still not that over all my kanima shit and the idea that you can just alpha roar me into doing whatever you fucking want!”

“Bullshit!”

“Excuse me? You really need to spend less time with Sti-”

“You were doing better. We knew Matt messed you up, I know you noticed the fact that we never used that shit against you,” he took a deep breath, “You were doing better. Then all of a sudden you and Lydia have broken up and you don’t trust anyone again. What happened between you and her anyway?”

“Get out.” The way their voice cracked alerted them to the fact that they were crying.

“Shit.” He tried to lean over the gear shift to wipe their tears, “I’m sorry, that was a terrible thing to s-“

“Get. Out.” They whispered again, “Call Stiles. Run home. Run back to Derek’s. I don’t care.”

He looked at them for a second before climbing out.

They didn’t wait around to see what he chose to do.

\--

Jackson crawled into bed and debated calling Danny. They didn’t have long to debate though before said hacker was throwing open the door and shoving them over to make room.

“Don’t be mad. Scott texted.” He wiped at the tears, “And Stiles, and Derek, and Erica, and Isaac.”

Being mad seemed useless at this point. They opted to push their head into Danny’s shoulder instead.

“What happened? Lydia?”

“Scott. Something about trust and how I don’t. Called you my security blanket.” They laughed, “which you might be, but fuck him.”

Danny nodded, rubbing his hand up and down his back. “so Lydia decided that texting me would be a funny way of making fun of you.”

Getting Jackson to understand why Lydia did anything was something they didn’t think they could ever accomplish.

“You know, Scott wasn’t entirely wrong about the trust thing. I don’t know how Lydia outing you to yourself hurt your trust with the pack, but she managed,” he kept rubbing their back hoping that they would stay calm.

They pushed away to sit up, “she may have said that I wouldn’t ever come out.”

“What?”

“That I’m not the type of person to trust people.”

“Why would-“

“And I’m starting to think she is right. I can’t tell them that I’m bi, let alone nonbinary and they all know I’m hiding something and hate me for it. They’re going to just kick me out of the pack and be done with me.” Danny tried to turn them around, but Jackson didn’t really want him to see how much they were crying. Hated people seeing them cry and they’d already done enough of that tonight.

Danny eventually pulled them back down. “First, I am going to kill her. Second, you may not trust easy, but you do trust and when you’re ready you’ll come out. No sooner. Third, till then the pack is going to be there for you. No matter how long it takes.”

Jackson nodded.

“Hey. Tell me you know that the pack isn’t just going to kick you out.” Jackson just nodded again, “tell me.”

“Fine! I know they won’t kick me kick me out.”

Sighing, Danny nodded, “that’s a start I guess.”

\--

Jackson was awakened early the next morning by the sound of Scott McCall falling through their window.

“Hey so I just-“

“Get in the bed.” Jackson said, throwing back the covers, “It is too early.”

Part of them knew that is they were more awake they would never have made the suggestion, but it probably wasn’t even 4 yet and the thought of having to talk yet seemed crazy.

Toeing off his shoes, Scott mumbled a short, “sorry.”

Jackson drifted back to sleep for another couple hours before Danny started poking them in the arm and was stage whispering, “Why is he here?”

“Don’t know.”

“I was,” Scott sat up, “well, I was trying to apologies.”

Glaring, they tugged them back down, “at four in the morning?”

Turning towards them, he gave his dopey smile, “closer to three. Just couldn’t sleep knowing I had made you cry.”

Jackson cringed as they felt Danny’s hand tighten around his arm.

“Why did you start crying anyway,”

“Bad night. I don’t know.” Rubbing their hands on their face, Jackson sighed, “I don’t trust easy in general and I’ve been working on that, but everyone just seems to keep focusing on the ways I don’t trust. I mean, last night I let Erica and Isaac box me into that small chair and cuddle for two movies.”

Scott nodded, “and you let me in your bed this morning.”

Jackson shrugged. They were still blaming that on the hour, but if McCall was willing to except it as an example of trust they would let it slide.

“Alright,” Danny stood up, “If there is no one to beat up here, I’m going to make some breakfast.”

“Waffles!” Jackson yelled after his retreating figure.

Scott nudged their arm, “beat up?”

“He’s protective sometimes.”

Scott nodded, wrapping his arms around them.

“Hey, Scott?” they whispered, “Only knowing half led to me and Lydia breaking up and Danny not talking to me for a day and a half.”

Moving his hand up, Scott began rubbing at the back of Jackson’s neck, “Did you get another memory back?”

Despite the topic, the comforting touch had them melting into their Alpha’s arms. They shook their head.

“Alright.”

He kept slowly rubbing. Jackson waited for another question. Another guess. Scott just kept rubbing though. Apparently content to wait for Jackson to say something else.

“Hey,” they tried to keep their voice casual, like the answer Scott gave wouldn’t possibly destroy his life, “Would you guys ever kick me out of the pack? If I never said. Or I said and you didn’t like it?”

The rubbing stopped. Scott pulled away in what might have been the longest moment of their life. “No. Nothing you say will ever get you kicked out of this pack. Nothing you don’t say either. This pack is a family and we’re not going anywhere.”

Jackson nodded, not letting go of their breath.

“Let’s go help Danny with breakfast.”  The alpha hopped out of bed and grabbed his shoes before sitting at the desk to put them on.

“I’m bi. And nonbinary.” Their voice was low, but with the way Scott had stopped tying his shoes they figured he was listening, “I prefer they pronouns, but only Danny knows about that.”

Scott smiled, “Awesome.”

\--

“Put bananas in mine?”

“No, you heathen.”

“They put bananas in their waffles?”

“They’re a lost cause I’m afraid.”

“Rude, this is my house Assholes. You don’t have to let you stay.”

“And I don’t have to make you breakfast!”

\--

“Wait a second… why would Jackson being bi mean Lydia would break up with them?”

“Jackson can try to explain that. If I do, I’ll end up hunting her down with the only warning being her banshee scream – for herself.”

“…”

\--

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, this was supposed to be fluffy.
> 
> I have written five different versions of where to go from here, but I think its time I just posted something. Future chapters will continue to focus of Jackson's journey of coming out as well as becoming comfortable in their skin and pack. 
> 
> It wasn't my original intention for Lydia to be so... evil? Let me know what you guys think. Do you like the way she turned out? Do you not? If not do not, let me know and I have an idea how to fix it (its not my favorite and definitely not how I saw the plot going, but maybe it'll turn into something).
> 
> Also let me know if there was anything else you wanted to see in this story!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


End file.
